I’m very sure I’m not the only one who undergoes self-inflicted mental tasking of the brain. This is because I have a way of evaluating issues, which gets me reflecting on a whole lot, so much so that I start having guilty feelings about being too hard on my mind and well being generally.

Down memory lane, while we were growing up, there was this thing that discouraged us from thinking too deep.  We simply concluded with statements like “it is beyond human comprehension, don’t you ever bother your head about it” and so on and so forth.   But I chose to do the opposite instead.

Just recently, I’ve had the cause to critically examine a particular trend in the past few days.  And I wish to share those thoughts that have made my head heavy.  I do hope to get responses and comments from those of you who take out time to read.

In my part of the world, people have consciously or unconsciously started acting in funny ways.  For example, in choosing marriage partners, many folks now go to their spiritual leaders to see what the future holds for them both. Doesn’t that seem a bit like divination to you? I ask because I am baffled.

Already happening presently, even across ethnic, religious and social divides; this practice which was known to be widely practiced among the hyper-religious and overtly spiritual, is now found with the so-called ‘free-thinkers  and “unbelievers” too.  I have seen people who decided to break up with their partners because their Pastor said “their stars don’t match”. They gave up love because someone heard from God for them, possibly because their ears were too filled with sin that they couldn’t hear from Him directly-whatever “matching stars” mean.

“Matching stars” as it is popularly referred to, is translated as “checking” in my local language. Now gradually assuming a more deliberate pose these days, the “checkers” are given the authority to pick and choose potential spouses. They even do the sorting and arranging, peddling different tales about one, just to favour the other, who in most cases, are their clients-all in the name of “one being better than the other ”.

Last year, it happened to a close acquaintance. He was seeing an industrious young woman before different revelations started saying she was possessed by marine spirits and stuff. The guy left her and started seeing someone else on the orders of his Pastor. The funny thing is that even the person that introduced this young man to the Pastor, later complained about the new fiancee. In his own words; “she is downright lazy, she lacks the industry of the other marine lady!”

Ridiculous if you ask me!

Did this couple have to ‘check’ before tying the knot?

Now you see, I’m not saying it’s not right to seek the face of God as we put it, I am simply saying we should not base everything on spirituality. Some people have lost the ability to seek God by themselves, and now shamelessly base everything on human beings like them, whom they see as God’s sole representatives. But they have actually forgotten that they themselves God’s representatives.

We end up forgetting that apart from being a child of God, there are other personal characteristics to look out for. There is the individuality. And who says there is a perfect person anywhere in the first place?

I believe in God, I am a Pastor myself but I do not believe you  that you should hand over your life to someone because you believe he can talk to God for you. What exactly is wrong with your own mouth that has made it impossible to talk to God yourself? I have this funny feeling that most of the men we run to, do have their own biases and may just deliver their verdicts based on those biases.

Some of us have passed love over, on the basis of “checking”; trying to see if “stars match” or if he or she is the “will of God”. I only pray some folks will not misunderstand my position or see me as being carnally-minded.

So let’s talk, what do you actually think of this controversial issue?

Follow me @oscarpoems on Twitter


About oscarpoems

Finds great pleasure in reading and writing my thoughts. Chartered Animal Scientist, writes poems and articles for leisure and fulfillment. Lover of God, country and humanity.
This entry was posted in Articles and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to TO CHECK OR NOT TO CHECK

  1. Mr. Yinka says:

    Why won’t they get tossed! Do they know what they want! You get anything from life if you aren’t specific about the things you want. Reporting to the police that your car was stolen and you can’t specify the brand, is stupidity. In the first place, identify what you want.

  2. Paul says:

    Bitter Truth !!! It is written “call upon me $ I ‘ll answer you” U have that right 2 approach God’s throne $ seek 4 HIS intervention BUT in some cases you need d counsel of your spiritual leaders! Gud job man!

  3. 9ja_donjuan says:

    True talk! The alignment of two seperate entities can only be ascertained and confirmed by the two parties involved. Third party advise or referals only feed on ones insecurities and most often than not lead to negative repercussions bathed in remorse…. Nice piece, food for thought.

  4. Ericka says:

    I myself have heard of people who do this & truthfully it makes not a bit of sense why someone would go hand their life away like that.

  5. Tope says:

    It’s downright laziness to spend quality time in His presence and seek His face concerning life issues. How can you tell the contracted pastor is ‘seeing’ something? It’s so funny and sad that we ave turned men to God and God to nothing.

  6. Ajewole Lawrence says:

    I share in your opinion @oscarpoems that all shouldn’t be based on spirituality especially if we seek the coordinate from an ‘annointed’ Mortal man like us. Wisdom I would say is profitable to direct. Its just a pity that some many destinies are suffering in the hands of spouses imposed by ‘DIVINE ORDER’.. I hope you all know what I mean. Cheers

  7. joshadeshina says:

    To check or not to check? I don’t think I wanna check anything, I believe God has a reason for everyone that comes my way. Great write up.

  8. agunbiade olusegun Caleb.... says:

    Spirituality is part of it but we should not forget other aspect like medicals…emotions …fimances….etc blood group SS should not marry SS…xtians should not over spiritualise. Dis issue..ï remember when I proposed to my ex….we were both chapel prefect boy n girl then in school 2yrs after I branched Ibadan on my way to lagos from ogbomoso n said to her…GOD said u r my wife emphatically …few months after I called for her response she said God said yes…my dear friends she will be getting married tomoro 4th of Aug a day to my birthday with another man…I know folks we say we didn’t hear clearly then bt I tell you marriage or love is more than hearing just pray that God will give u a blessed home in all.

  9. Oloye becky says:

    I pray God will give evryone of us deep insight nd wisdom in choosing d ryt spouses 4 marriage.More wisdom and strenght in all ur endavours

  10. YesPlanet says:

    Pls read Heb 11:6. …come to God,not to ‘checker’. God is. He is available to listen to whoever want to check. I wont check with anybody neither will I encourage anybody to.

  11. lordrooz says:

    Sincerely mr seye, you have done justice to this issue, why in the name of God would bring my marital issues to a human like me, who probably doesn’t even have a happy home himself? I believe matters like this are too senseitive for other human interventions, rather it should be a case of two hearts and their lord!!! Its just like tryin to settle a couple’s misunderstandin, there’s no way one won’t get caught in the web!!
    Na dem knw whr dem jam each other and na dem sabi wetin them see!! Every1 have their own style of communicating with the almighty and as such personal consultation with HIM is the best and only option to conjugal bliss!!! My opinion tho!

  12. Ayobola Raji says:

    Indeed, it is a funny thing. This ‘checking’. Even parents do not let their kids marry any1 witout ‘checking’. Wat exactly they be ‘checking’ to find beats me. I belive people should jus put their faith in God and await HIS conviction, then just DO IT lyk Nike

  13. nykelodeon says:

    Y’all don’t agree to checking your “star” with that of your partner 2see if they “align” abi ? Now let’s be Factual. Its still done, especially if the tribes are not d same, and if the Wife or Husband have a very Traditional Mum. I don’t like talking about Tradition bcos believe me, the effects of negligence @tymes especially wen one doesn’t know his/her background can be telling in future. Howeva, its should be a yardstick in marriage sha.

  14. To me it’s to choose or not to choose…..

  15. seunmike says:

    Nothing anyone will say will make me leave the person I’m with right now cos I believe it’s God made me meet her anyway. I’m happier cos of her. I’m not seeing any pastor or stargazer to look into nothing. I wonder why people even do such things

  16. abideen says:

    This article is just spot on. It spoke exactly my own opinion on all of this mate matching things, but what can one do in a helpless situation that we have found ourselvies? because it’s the trend in the contemporary world of ours.

  17. Fisayo Adetoye says:

    I read a lot of comments here and it shows we Nigerians are not being truthful and realistic.
    The height of religious sentiments in our society is so alarming that even the divisions alone in christianity today is enough to start a war. How many people reading this would leave thier church and attend another church with another preacher? it may seem i’m digressing a bit but i’m just trying to hit on the root cause of the ills in our society, relationships and families.
    You may be saying you will never check, blah blah blah… but won’t your parents check for you? That spiritual head in your church that you worship like a God, wont you confide in him when the fears of marriage come knocking at your door? Some churches even stop thier members from marrying outside the church!
    let’s ask ourselves, is it only marriage that we check? to travel, we check! to work, we check! even to eat nowadays we check!
    It is evident that true LOVE no longer exists in our hearts and in our world and we all are to blame. We live with so much sentiments and if we dont do something fast about it, may God help us.

  18. Tola says:

    @Seye, ¶ think like ​U̶̲̥̅̊ do too n it usually makes ♍Ƹ sound weird. However, ¶ don’t care as long as ¶’m sincere n not a hypocrite cos even Jesus said we should seek d truth n it shall set us free. Do not disrespect God or is men but don’t let words like “Hell”, “Blasphemy”, “heresy” etc keep ​U̶̲̥̅̊ from daring τ̅☺ find out d truth( including d truth about God). When ​U̶̲̥̅̊ know d truth, ​U̶̲̥̅̊ have more confidence τ̅☺ talk τ̅☺ God cos he lives i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ ​U̶̲̥̅̊, right inside ur DNA. God is not out there, he is closer τ̅☺ ​U̶̲̥̅̊ than ur jugular vein; He that’s i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ us is greater than he that’s i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ d world. Jesus came τ̅☺ open our eyes τ̅☺ d truth, he came τ̅☺ make us realise our true Godlike capabilities, they waged war against him so that we may remain their slaves. Swallow some gut, brethren! n dare τ̅☺ seek d truth… Believe i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ ​U̶̲̥̅̊ n talk confidently τ̅☺ he that resides i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ ​U̶̲̥̅̊. A time shall come when all temples will belong τ̅☺ d anti-christ n d only thing that shall b left is ur body; d real temple of God… Ur body is d only true temple of God, seek him from within ​U̶̲̥̅̊.

  19. Phil says:

    When it comes to marriage, use both your spiritual and physical eyes. Take time to study him/her. If he/she is not compatible with you, don’t bother praying or checking. If you are both compatible & u love each other, pls do a medical check, then pray for God’s guidance bcos some people have dark, fatal secrets. Seek wise counsel. Let the Holy Spirit (not prophets) control your life. @drphilip2010

  20. tayoge says:

    Sounds like ignorance to me. If u have a good chemistry with someone and your life plans and goals are aligned. Go for it. All the pastor need do is tie the knot or not…

  21. tayoge says:

    Sounds like ignorance to me. If u have a good chemistry with someone and your life plans and goals are aligned. Go for it. All the pastor need do is tie the knot or not…

  22. odeshinabola says:

    The fear of the unknown pushes many to seek the future. The human nature doesn’t want to accept that the future will remain unknown. If any marriage enjoys harmony and last long because of visions of a spiritualist, its a matter of time before it crumbles. Irrespective of religion or level of righteousness non can predict or see the future.
    The family and society has not produced people suitable for marriage thus we seek solution where it doesn’t exist.

  23. jCntON says:

    41233 658064Respect to author , some excellent details . 765009

  24. miss Omoye says:

    Its very common, God help us all.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s