“Just so we are clear about this, I am not getting married anytime soon”.
A while ago, not a while, let me just say about a week ago, that was the personal message on my blackberry messenger. I wanted to feel the pulse of my pro-marriage folks (as if I am anti-marriage). That sentence got to many of my contacts, making them come across like they care the most about my status. I in actual facts got into a few discussions, debates and a lot of arguments.
Now Asake may not like this piece but she it was who first buzzed me. She was supposedly not very happy with me but with this, she went angrier.
“What’s the meaning of your PM?”, she asked in her chat.
I found a way to answer. Knowing I did not convince her, I trudged on. I knew that message would bring out a few of the people on my contact list who have been hiding, and it did just that.
Again I say, just so we are clear, a few things must be set before I look Asake in the eye and tell her its time for marriage. How do I do this piece without her overreacting sef?
A few things have to be right before I stand in front of everyone to tell her “I do”. This piece is like the ones I wrote from the innermost part of me during the lonely NYSC days in Taraba in 2008/2009.
For the ones who want to know why the wedding bells have not tolled for me. Make no mistake, I have my Eve here beside me. It is even a tug of war to keep it at just Asake (or Eve, or whatever name you choose to call her). However, I am not one for a ‘very short’ courtship. I am the kind that wants to be your friend, I mean your very best friend, before thinking of the next thing.
Now I know that sounds a bit like the mumu who is zoning himself before being dumped in the friend zone. I however have seen lots of promising marriages take off on a k-leg footing because they forgot to take Friendship 101 (thank God for Reverend Seyi Faloju). I have been in the game for a while and I can confidently say of the friendship between me and some of the ones I have dated. When we could not go on romantically, we went back to being friends, as in ‘just friends’ and nothing more.
So until I can stay with Asake, Eve or Bolanle as my friend and then lover, I will not be giving out my aso ebi contract just yet. Is that clear?
For those who make it seem like I have become irresponsible by not marrying yet, let it be known that thou maketh mistakes. Nothing has changed about me. I on the other hand waxeth stronger in my way of life. Being unmarried should not portray me as irresponsible, fellas. I will stun you when the time comes, and I assure you, me and Asake will make the whole world jealous.
One of my very good friends (he’s been one from my primary school days) said I should confront my fears. It is not that I am afraid of marriage. I grew up in a home brimming with excess love and I have longed to experience the same as a man, husband and father. I have no fears at all. On the other hand, I am looking forward to marriage with optimism.
As far as marriage is concerned, I don’t think ‘punctuality’ is a requirement. Let me re-phrase in my local way, “dem nor dey catch late comer abeg”. So, for those who are concerned, I am only taking my time. Taking my time to come to terms with the fact that marriage isn’t a sleep over, taking my time to let Asake really know what she’s going into, taking my time to build a very strong foundation.
I am a young man, remember, and I will do good to take my time than to come call on you to come settle a rift between me and Asake, if it ever happens that way.
This is for you Asake, I call you another name but I won’t let everyone know that just yet.
I am totally devoted, committed with the whole of my being and I have no intention to run from you. That ‘thing’ we are cooking will jolt even those who do not believe we will end it well. Just play your role and be patient because I am not about stopping and what you will experience with me will surprise you positively.
I love you Dovey.
The bells will toll soon *wink wink*
I am @oscarpoems