OFFICE LIFE IS WRIITEN BY ABIMBOLA ADEBAYO (@Bunmi_Bimbola). PLEASE READ, ENJOY AND DON’T FORGET TO USE THE COMMENT BOX. BLESS
“You seem to be learning very fast for an intern. That shows that you are reliable and can be trusted with more sensitive assignments”.
That was my boss eulogizing me during the Editorial Meeting after I had carried out a duty assigned to him.
‘Sources’ informed me he had gone frolicking on a weekend time-out with one of the babes he told me to stay away from. He instructed me to carry out a few assignments, warning me sternly that there was no margin for error and that I would be in deep trouble if I failed. Unknown to me, it was his official assignment.
I had no objections really as it was a way of facilitating my re-launch into the mainstream that I was steadily getting into. The babe I was eyeing had already shown that she had outgrown me and was too ‘big for my gigs’. In the real sense of the word, I was actually passing my ‘semi left over’ to the boss. Not that he cares anyway, as long as the babe will be another ‘fish’ he had caught in the office.
Needless to say shame is not in some people’s dictionary. As for me, I had already made up my mind to play my “games” out of the office environs where the coast is larger and choices are available in different shapes, sizes and colours, with a level playing ground for all.
My major problem of ‘delivering’ after every assignment still remained. It was a very worrying situation that required me to do the ‘needful’ so as to break free from ‘slave labour’.
To make matter worse, each time I was out on official duty with my boss, the philandering man had the habit of always stopping at the office or shop of one or two of his many lovers. You will wonder how that is my business. Issue is his stopping to see those women always reduced whatever little I would get from the brown envelopes. On days that I am unlucky, there’s nothing left for me after Oga has formed Chairman.
On those days, I get compensated with pepper soup and a bottle (or two) of the ‘big honourable’. I however try to play the good boy always by not taking more than a bottle of beer and a plate of pepper soup.
Needless to say that he had been using the envelopes given to us to service his social life while he left me with whatever I enjoyed from the beer and pepper soup. Incidentally, he gave cash to these women right in front of me while all I got after beer and pepper soup most times was a pat on my back.
It was obviously a “monkey dey work baboon dey chop” situation all because I was an industrial trainee.
After much thinking I came up with a “master plan”. The logic was to wear natives for every weekend assignment knowing my boss would be unavailable most times. That way it was possible to divide money given to us at the assignments.
This was even easier because my boss’ trusted ally, the cameraman with whom I went on weekend assignments also suffered the same plight as me. Picking us as his crew members was not because he loved us, it was because he felt we were “obedient servants” as the others always gave him tough time.
Whatever we were given at any assignment was always ‘dealt with’ immediately. I always made sure I opened the envelope, counted the money and divide into three parts. I kept one-third in one pocket and kept the other two-third for delivery to the boss. We would then proceed to share the one-third while the rest would be given to the boss who uses his discretion on how to spend the money (mostly on beer and pepper soup).
The cameraman testified. He told me he has never gained much from working with our boss but with my new sharing formula, the “devil” has been put to shame.
He used to deride weekend assignments but the master ‘sharer’ in me made him look forward excitedly to weekends. He made himself available, on standby, always.