Today is 20th of December, its my birthday and I will cry if I want to.

I will cry, not because I am sad, not because I am happy, not because I do not even know how I feel emotionally. I will just cry IF I feel like.

I am an emotional person. I have cried more than once this year. I am an underachiever looking forward but then, looking behind, I can’t help but give praises to the Almighty. No spites intended on anyone but a reflection on how well one has fared in spite of what level one presently is or has been.

I am uber grateful to God. I am not at LUTH or General Hospital; I am not at Atan or Abalti; neither am I at Kirikiri or Ikoyi, I am here at liberty, breathing without aid.

One reflects everyday or better put, one should reflect everyday but then, one’s birthday is actually a reminder of how close one is to his/her grave rather than a day of celebration.

The last 13 years have been pivotal for me. They have shaped me into a man: the one I am becoming rather than a man I was or a man I am. I have been able to discover that common good outweighs any sentiment, I have been able to master the art of respecting everyone’s perspective as I have learnt that Ife and Modakeke folks saw their war from different angles, I have learnt that whatever I am going through is a war exclusive to me in order to shape my person.

In the last 13years, I have mastered the art of serving people rather than using them, I have learnt that I perform best in a team. I have toiled and strived, I have gone weeks without a melted kobo, I have gone to bed without any meal and I have woken up with no hope of where the next meal will come from and folks, I have survived. Alhamdulillah.

I have learnt that, humans can be so compassionate and can be downright wicked; I have encountered more of the compassionate ones in my journey through life. I have learnt not to regret any decision or action I have taken. These, my friends, have helped a great deal in shaping my thoughts and decision making process. They have helped me in weighing decisions carefully before taking steps since I don’t have future luxury of regrets.

I have learnt that the greatest asset into becoming a proper human is having the fear of God; this is not the fear of God ,that we daily pay lip service to. This type of fear of God serves as a measure of control and guiding principle to who one actually is. This is the one that makes one do the right thing even when no one is watching. I have tried to imbibe this and I am still working and praying for the grace to be able to immerse my person in it more.

How good a person is, can be determined from how s/he treats those who can do nothing for him or her in return and or how s/he treats animals. This I have learnt and this folks, I have tried as much as I can, to put into practice. I try as much as possible to be a good human.

Forget the tough outlook, the free flowing diction and presumed writing skill, I am of the shy breed. I am never as intelligent as folks tend to believe. Yes, I have an embarrassingly loud voice, I can speak perfect English once in a while, near perfect Yoruba and crowd appeal, I am deep down a shy fellow with my emotions tending to run out of control at will.

As much as that is, I think I take too much BS from people. How that happens still beats me because I have a very short fuse. Maybe I have tried to build a state of the art control measure for it; maybe I have learnt to let things slide even when I am the one who is right.

Looks like I have an in born penchant to organise and coordinate, I am very careless with timing though, I have the evil called procrastination in my baggage which is based on my principle of “result matters, in as much as it doesn’t affect common good and meets deadline”. This ideal stresses my life but I have not been able to overcome it.

My biggest dream is geared towards leadership, not in speech but in practice, not by mouth but by character. Its been coming by default up to a point. Primary school came with captainship in classes and the school soccer team and ultimately senior prefectship, I think I was a lousy leader not by the standard then but how well I have grown. High school made me ‘lose it’, I am one of those quiet ones, easily intimidated, I was too aware of my person and it didn’t help. College came with experiences of life. I led, led and learnt. It also made me discover how well and far I can go, made me realize how humans can actually see through you if you are sincere, you can’t please everyone though. It taught me a valuable lesson that although you can start from where you are but if you really want to effect it, be the man calling the shots. People frustrate not only your effort as a leader but also your dreams.

The next 13 years of my life, if I get the grace to live that long, will be channelled towards preparation for my lifelong and biggest dream, I am hoping to get this right as most of the things I do plan towards certain periods happen later than envisaged. They get done mostly when God wants them. I have folks who believe in that dream, they are not much, they don’t need to be, they only need to be steadfast and they are.

I am a Muslim by birth and practice, my guiding principle is based on the Islamic ideology. I am never a saint but then, I try as much as possible to be good. I have had best friends at each and every turn of my life who are of the Christian faith. I am a living proof that Islam preaches peace and tolerance.

I have resisted the urge to name names in this note but in the autobiography, names will crop up at every point necessary, I have them in my head.

I am close now to living three decades here. I have learnt, I am still learning and will continue to learn as long as I have air in my lungs.

This is not a preface to anything but could serve as one, you will only understand, if you sit and ponder on what a bestselling autobiography is and the men who pen them. In my quest to pen a bestselling autobiography, I will not falter and by Allah, I will never fail. So help me God.

Today is my birthday folks, I will let the floodgates open and let the tears flow.

‘Lanre Bucknor mostly writes on his bed in his room in Lagos.
He is @lordrooz on twitter


About oscarpoems

Finds great pleasure in reading and writing my thoughts. Chartered Animal Scientist, writes poems and articles for leisure and fulfillment. Lover of God, country and humanity.
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  1. Isaacola AA says:

    i really liked the aspect of “fear of God”. That was just too perfect for me.

  2. Giwalola says:

    In d nxt 13yrs, u n I knws whr u will b bro. Till den, God spares us

  3. opebaby says:

    Nice one. E mi ase opo odun laye. GGMYB. Happy birthday

  4. imotolab2014 says:

    Happy Birth Day. long life and prosperity. I know God will give you the will to get where you want in the next 13yrs.(insha Allah). God bless your new age, egbon.

  5. bucknor jubril says:

    Nice 1 bro…I’m so sure yo gon b great in d next 13 yrs of ur life insha Allah…hbd

  6. Aganga-williams Oluwafemi Abdulazeez says:

    Jes seeing this. So proud of u bro.

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