By this time on August 6th 2016, my piece titled As I Take My Vows had been written and posted. It was the day I fully quit bachelorhood, having done so traditionally the previous day. 6th August was the day I exchanged rings with the woman I am now married to for three years.
Indeed should I or not write has been the question on my mind in the days leading up to this anniversary but I once again sit and decide to put down a few words after going through my picture gallery. I did not want to write, because I did not want to be predictable. I did not want to write because I have other things of equal importance competing for attention in my head. I did not want to write because David will disturb me (so much for using the boy as an excuse). I however discovered that I did not want to write because I did not want to write. Contradictions jakujaku!!!
When I took my vows on this beautiful day three years ago, I knew what I was signing up for. When I looked into Bukola’s eyes and read the vows, I knew I had lost myself. I was ready to forget about ‘me’ because I knew ‘self’ had to take the back seat for ‘us’. What I did not know was that I would feel like I was being intruded by a stranger the following Saturday which was our first weekend together. What however felt like and invasion of my privacy that day has taken a totally different turn that makes me feel I may not be able to survive without her around. Or how else will one explain the fact that I chose to embark on the long road trip around midday from Port Harcourt sometime last October, knowing I won’t get home till very late at night? All I was focused on was HOME, and HOME is where Bukola and David were waiting.
Marriage has changed me in the kind of way I expected. I have had the fortune of journeying with an understanding partner who has made every single day worth it. I have been lucky to have her accommodate my excesses just like I have learnt to cope with hers. One of my old friends told me while on honeymoon that some things happen when you’re not expecting. It did happen because we were ‘blessed’ within a month of marriage, when we were not expecting and I knew the change was real. There was just that shift from me and us to shifting attention to the growing foetus.
Worthy of note is the fact that some things did not quite move as expected, and in the midst of all the turbulence, my wife has been a very sturdy pillar of support. Giving encouraging words and sticking out her neck for me when necessary or otherwise. She is the one huge human blessing I have had over the past few years and for this, I am immensely grateful. In fact, my words cannot convey the depth of gratitude I feel for having her in my life.
As we launch into the fourth year of this journey, let me write out the some of the lyrics of Cece Winans’ I Promise (Wedding Song), which I ensured was played during our nuptial dance on that bright August afternoon. Every word in that song touches the very core of my being…
I will love you faithfully
Forever Unconditionally
And my love, I promise
Everything I have is yours
You’re everything I prayed and waited for
And my love, I promise you
Grateful to The Almighty for this journey as I celebrate another year of togetherness with Habibti, the blessing that was pointed to me by the Divine Compass that directs my life always. I love you, and will do till death do us part.
OSCARPOEMS 