OFFICE LIFE (4)

HI FOLKS, HERE’S THE 4TH IN THE SERIES. SORRY WE HAD TO BREAK LAST WEEK DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND CONTROL. @Bunmi_Bimbola IS BACK TO SERVE YOU BETTER. PLEASE READ AND ENJOY; REMEMBER TO DROP A FEW COMMENTS AND SHARE WITH FRIENDS AS WELL. THANKS

Oga at the top looked at the two bottles of beer placed before him and smiled. He exchanged a few words with the bar man who in turn pointed in my direction. On sighting me, he smiled and looked away. I am sure he must be thinking what to do with me as he looked away. With eyes firmly trained on him, I did not know when the bar man left him or got to my side. He simply tapped me and said Oga asked me to join his table.
“Heavens must be at peace with me”, I thought as I got up and did a double march to his table. He looked at me, smiled and shook his head.

“My boy, what does these twin bottles of the big honourable stand for? Is it to find a way out of your present self-inflicted predicament?”. I stayed mute, scratching my head and shifting my weight from leg to leg. He looked up at me where I stood, in front of him, and he pointed to the seat, motioning for me to sit down.

“You still have a lot to learn and game skills to acquire before you can sky rocket”, he said as he picked his glass to down a few gulps. “You are jumping the gun, as well as hunting the game of elders”. I made a face that made him re-phrase what he said.

“By hunting the game of elders, I mean you’re rolling with ladies I have marked for my pleasure. But since you know another way to my heart, I forgive you. Go and sin no more”, he added and then took his glass to empty its content.

From what Oga at the top said, it was obvious as first guessed that my ‘downfall’ can be traced to flirting with his ‘chosens’. God help my soul! Though I enjoyed their company but I had to face the fact that I need not enjoy the female company at the expense of my career.

Moreover, I could always act “local champion” outside the television station. I therefore decided to put a stop to whatever closeness I had with the ladies in the office and stop them from putting ‘sand in my garri’. What do I even have to lose after all.

I was even more determined to cut off any link with them when I thought of how they neglected me when I landed in soup. Their actions in the little time of tribulation have even shown that they will cause me more harm if I don’t quickly settle with my benefactor. The licence to gain their attention was the meagre change I was making and the hype I was getting from the news broadcast.

Now that the licence has been trampled upon due to my relationship with them and none of them seemed to care, I just decided to let them go.

“Sir, I am very sorry”, I said to my boss. He looked at me pitifully and waved his hands, as if to say the matter was settled. No doubt this beer joint meeting is doing “wonders” and a positive result seems to be on the way. After some minutes of silence between us, I struggled to say “sorry sir” once again, adding that I am only a small boy who can’t eat pap without getting his fingers soiled.

My boss looked at me and continued ‘romancing’ his bottle of beer. It was like both of us had an agreement in the ‘spirit’ as we continued the drinking spree as if we were competing. After some hours of drinking and exchanging of banters alongside a long lecture from my boss on how to play my game without getting into trouble in the office, we discovered we had stayed for too long.

In my tipsy state, I still managed to count the number of empty beer bottles on our table. In all, we had downed twenty bottles of the ‘big honourable’ – my boss twelve and the rest were in my blood stream. What a way to reconcile!

THE MUSE CAME

Like a thief in the night my muse visited again. I don’t know what my offence is yet again but she has chosen to play catch-me-if-you-can with me. Coming at odd times and running away before I can settle down well enough to do what must be done, you can refer to it as ‘the needful’. Muse decided to visit today, and stay to play lovey-dovey with me. That is why you can read this. Help beg her not to run again.

I was opportune to attend different schools at different stages of my life. Two different primary schools, two secondary schools and another where I had my extra lessons, and of course my higher institution. While in these places, I met different people. Folks who made those days tick, in their own rights. Sadly as it always is, the time came to part ways. That is inevitable, isn’t it?

I have not seen many of these people for more than sixteen years but thank God for the beauty that our social networking sites are, we have been able to establish contact one way or the other. Of recent, some have found their ways back into my innermost circle. They have crossed the social network divide and got closer to the extent that we exchange chat messages.

My interactions with these people explained a few things we have missed about one another. What value we added to one another, how much those times were cherished, the mistakes we made, how we made up after disagreements and arguments, and above all, “how well you were a blessing to me while we were together”. Of course, to go with that was the “I hope we meet again pretty soon” line.

Now how is that your business? You might have come in contact with people years ago but there are questions to ask yourself. What impression did I make on them, what memories did I leave them with?

There was a particular person who told me “I really wish I did not do the things that I did. I wish I can undo some things”. The truth is that we all had things in our past we wished to undo but wishes are not horses. We need to live today in such a way not to have a wish to undo what we are doing today in the future.

Do people from your past have any good recommendation for you? Can they remember you and say a silent (or loud) prayer where they are today?
I know those who have good memories of me and I feel blessed that I have been the source of someone’s happiness. I have those I want to make up with, hoping for a chance to undo some of my earlier actions.

That alone is my guiding principle. To be a blessing to those I come in contact with, to be the answer to someone’s prayer and leave a good impression.

OFFICE LIFE (3)

HI FOLKS, HERE’S OFFICE LIFE (3). OFFICE LIFE IS WRITTEN BY ABIMBOLA ADEBAYO (@Bunmi_Bimbola). PLEASE READ AND ENJOY. DON’T FORGET TO DROP A FEW LINES IN THE FORM OF COMMENT. THANKS

Office Life (1) https://oscarpoems.wordpress.com/2014/01/02/office-life-1/ 

Office Life (2) https://oscarpoems.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/office-life-2-by-abimbola-adebayo-bunmi_bimbola/

This episode is dedicated to Temitope Salami. Life is added to your years and years added to your years. Happy Birthday Tope.

 

Media practice was getting more interesting for me. There was always free food and drinks almost everyday because of the regular assignments I covered.

The ladies in my area who had heard my name mentioned in news commentaries or saw me on the television had turned me to a kind of demigod, and all craved my attention.

Before I knew it, I started receiving calls from different people, known and unknown, asking for favours, many of which I could not even solve. I played along though, promising to look into their issues (like a boss :D).

I have always had this penchant for woman-related ‘wahala’. If I thought that my trouble with the ladies will end outside the television station, I was dead wrong.

Of course for me, keeping some distance from the opposite gender always saves me lots of problem but I have never learnt to do just that. Some of the ladies in and outside my department in the television station had at one time or the other offered to buy me lunch for different reasons.

I never knew I was using “the teeth of the cobra to scratch my nose”. I was just playing away and flirting with the ladies, not knowing that ‘the oga’  who facilitated my internship appointment was interested in some of these daughters of “Eve”.

I was firmly treading dangerous paths. The “slave trade” of sorting full staff after each assignment still continued and I was coping but my bubble was bursted.

I was stopped from following reporters for assignments all of a sudden. Before I could say “Jack”, I was re-assigned to the Library. My bubble had been burst, wings clipped and swagger turned to stagger.

Reality dawned on me as I started working in the Library I so much derided. I was no longer appearing at assignments and so brown envelopes became distant memory. I began to lose ‘big fans’ as well.

The only daily duty was to arrange and re-arrange video tapes and sleep. I became moody and sulked most of the time because things were not working in my favour.

Indeed this was not best of times for a ‘celebrity’ in making like me. As I was starting to think of what might have gone wrong, I remembered I had not been using the Holy water Baba Aladura gave me. Doing a quick calculation, I discovered I had actually not been doing so for about a fortnight.

I was lost in thought, could this be the origin of my set back? I asked myself.

For me, since my Oga who also serves as my back bone is now against me, drastic spiritual and physical actions must be taken.

At the close of work that day, I went to  the “Jedi joint” close to the television station. I sluggishly picked a corner and settled down. By then, I had mastered all techniques of drinking the local beverage. I placed my order of “Orisirisi” (mixture), plus ‘ponmo alata’.

Within few minutes all my worries had disappeared and my brain started a ‘google search’ for a solution out of my dilemma. The result of my mind ‘google search’ placed a devilish smile on my face.

Activation of plans started immediately. I checked my wrist watch and the time told me my ‘Oga at the Top’ would be at his usual beer joint. I paid for the consumed jedi and stepped out of the local joint with my legs wobbling and my eyes tinted.

After standing on the same spot for about fifteen minutes to regain some composure, I got a bike rider to take me to my destination. I could not say how long it took to get there but we did after what seemed like a full day. I did a fast scan on the car park and saw his car parked at the usual corner.

Without wasting time I marched inside and located an empty table not far from where he was seated. He had already ‘knocked down’ three big bottles of “honourable”.

I signalled the bar man and directed him to give my Oga two more big bottles of “Honourable” instructing him to tell Oga it was from “one of your boys”. I thought loudly to myself “this game must change”.

OREKELEWA (3)

HELLO PEOPLE, HERE’S THE THIRD PART OF LUMI’S (@lumi_slim) OREKELEWA. FOR PREVIOUS EPISODES, SEE 1  HERE https://oscarpoems.wordpress.com/2013/12/31/orekelewa-1/ AND 2  HERE https://oscarpoems.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/orekelewa-2/. I’M IN LOVE WITH THIS OREKELEWA THINGY ALREADY. YOU SHOULD TOO. NICE READING AND PLEASE USE THE COMMENT BOX. BLESS…xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

“When it comes to matters of the heart my greatest fear is not falling in love…they say its a beautiful thing…my fear is falling out of love”.

The last thing I wanted at this hour of the night was to have someone disturb me with a call,yet my phone had rung twice already. Work had been hectic and what little strength I had left was expended in traffic. I got home too tired to even shower, I just fell on the bed and drifted off to sleep only to get awaken barely 20 minutes later by the buzzing of my phone.

The phone rang for the third time. “Who the f#%k is this? Don’t they get the concept of day and night?”, I thought as I frantically tried to pick the phone without opening my eyes. I rarely use swear words but I’m sure you understand my grief. I answered the call with a half mouthed “Yes?” and the person replied “Hey you…” but paused for a split second after noting the annoyance in my voice, “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”. It was Lewa, I know that voice even if I hear it after twenty four hours of sleep.

I sat up and cleared my throat. “No, not at all. I was just getting into bed”, I said and I smiled sheepishly. She has that effect on me.

I had intentionally not called her in two days. We spoke everyday in the past two weeks but the call was always from my end. You see the trick to knowing if the ‘feeling’ is mutual is to stop calling for a while and see if the other party does.

“Oh okay, was wondering why you haven’t called in 48 hours, is everything fine?”, she asked. I literally pumped my fist as I thought to myself, “Yessss, she fell for it”. “I’m sorry Lewa,work has been hectic plus you told me you had a test coming up the last time we spoke, and I didn’t want to disturb you”, I replied apologetically.

“How many times do I have to tell you you’re not disturbing me, I thought you had forgotten about me though”, she said,her tone sounding really serious. Like it had become when conversing with her, I thought for a minute,”forget you?,forget it!”.

Truth be told I would have called her first thing the next morning if she had not called.

“I’m terribly sorry dear,I promise to make it up to you, how about we hook up this Friday?”, I replied,praying she doesn’t turn me down. We had seen twice after our first time of meeting, the most recent being a fortnight ago. Each time we were together, we lost track of time because there was a million and one things to talk about.

I heaved a sigh of relief when she said “You definitely have to make it up to me. I think Friday isn’t a bad time”. She asked me to go back to sleep. Guess she was not fooled by my “barely getting to bed” story. We did the whole ‘sweet dreams’ talk and the line went dead. It took me another hour to get to sleep. I rolled from one side of the bed to another…Friday can’t come quickly enough.

Everyone that’s a party rocker knows ‘The Castle’ is one of the best places on this side of town to hang out on a Friday night. If you know this cool spot well enough, you’d know Friday means ‘Karaoke night’. I remember I once brought an intern from the office to this place and tipped the hype man to call me out to sing. I acted surprised when my name was called and after much persuasion by her I stood up reluctantly and chose Mario’s ‘How do I breathe’. I don’t mean to brag but I have a good voice (no, I wasn’t in the choir at any point,lol). I sent the crowd into a frenzy with my voice and the height of my performance was when I brought out the young, unsuspecting babe to the stage, knelt before her and sang the concluding verse. As we stepped off the stage, I whispered into her ears amidst cheers “You’d sing for me tonight”, and she just giggled. She sang a couple of ‘verses’ in the back seat of my car later that night.

Tonight though, I had only one thing in mind, I just want to see ‘Lewa smile and have her weaken me at the knees like she always does. We agreed to meet at 7pm. I had offered to pick her up but she gave some excuse and said she’d figure her way. I walked into ‘The Castle’ and navigated my way to a carefully picked out spot in a corner, I don’t want anybody calling me out tonight.

‘Lewa came in half an hour late. I don’t know if she does it on purpose but she’s always exactly 30 minutes late. I signaled to her and she walked towards where I was, causing a couple of heads to turn in her direction. You know how we try to assess if the guy is deserving of the beautiful lady *winks.

We hugged briefly and she apologized for coming late. While she tendered her apologies, she was all smiles, revealing her white set of teeth. The smile did that ‘thing’ to me again.

“You’re beautiful as ever, there’s nothing to be sorry about”, I smiled in return and told her. The barman came to take our orders and we got down to the night, chatting away.

We had gone on and on with people singing songs, some with great voices, some others, well….

We had gotten so engrossed in ourselves that we did not know people were staring in our direction, they started clapping and it was at that point I realized what they were looking at. The hype man had pointed at us and called ‘Lewa out to sing!!! I was embarrassed but she just smiled, stood up and walked towards the stage. She muttered something to the DJ and John Legend’s ‘All of me’ came on the screen. When she opened her mouth to sing, I heard the most beautiful voice ever, I mean Beyoncé has got nothing on her!

The height of the performance was in the final verse, she called me out, talk about Dejavu! I heard the lyrics of the song and my heart did an Usain Bolt
“…’cos all of me, loves all of you,
Love your curves and all your edges,

                                      even when I lose,

                                      I’m winning…”

I stood there blushing like a teenage boy. When she concluded the performance, she gently planted a kiss on my forehead and whispered into my ears…”Babe, let’s get out of here”.

There and then, I knew what I wanted from her, and I was set on getting it by all means possible.

NEW YEAR, NEW THING

HELLO PEOPLE. HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A GREAT SATURDAY. @me_ablad DID THIS STORY ON NEW YEAR’S DAY. IT’S AN INTERESTING AND HUMOROUS ONE FOR YOUR WEEKEND. ENJOY, AND PLEASE DROP A FEW LINES IN THE COMMENT BOX…Oscarpoems

I got out of bed twenty-something minutes past four in the afternoon. I can’t imagine how long I had slept since 1.00am when I returned from the crossover service. It was first day of the year and I was supposed to have prepared whatever meal the unrepentant bachelor that I am could prepare.

I picked my phone and unlocked it. Too many messages and missed calls. No thanks to the silent mode it had been on since during the crossover service. I wanted to calculate how long I had been sleeping but I could not.

I could faintly remember what the sermon was. “A New Thing – Isaiah 43:19”. I liked that theme so it was only natural that I remember it. A New Year; A New Thing.  “God is really using Pastor sha”, I thought, because every word he said found a fertile ground in me. It was actually as if he was sent to me.

The crowing of my New Year fowl brought me back to the present. I had tied it to the back of my window the previous evening. It was not planned for it to still be alive till around 4.00pm on January 1st.

“Na the last of crows be that, you fool”, I cursed under my breath as I swiped my window curtain to a side to take a look at the unfortunate broiler. It had fed so well that it couldn’t even move the rope with which it was tied. I had paid over the odds for it, a whooping five thousand naira.

Then it crowed again. “My God! This will be your last”, I said pointing at it unconsciously. It looked as if the fowl shook its head at my direction.

As I tried to pull the curtain close and start arranging the ‘instruments’ that would set the bird on its journey to the great beyond, I beheld her, Linda. She walked past the street opposite my window.

“Jesu! This was Linda. Perhaps she was one of the New Things that my Pastor said God would do for us in this year”.

I ogled her curves in the red T-shirt she wore over a pair of blue jean trousers. Those were my favourite colours on a girl.

Actually, I had always longed for Linda. She was just some kind of stubborn girl. Why I still wanted her is something I need to ask google. Perhaps it was because I love Igbo girls. (talk of sharing a like with the controversial FFK). I took more time to stare at her as she stopped at a provision store. “I will catch you today”, I promised myself without saying a word, momentarily forgetting the fowl.

I closed the curtain and moved over to the table fitted to a corner of my one room apartment. There on it were my utensils and some other important bachelor stuffs. (You know those things your fiancée complains about when she visits). I opened a plate and stinking odour emerged from it. It was the plate I used to eat beans last night before going to church. (You see, beans still ranks up there as my favourite dish, it is the only thing I can pick over an Igbo girl).

Just then the fowl crowed again. I picked a knife and dropped it almost immediately. “You are so daring right? I get better work on my hands now. Your time go soon reach” , I said to no one in particular as I picked my red T-shirt and a blue jean, wanting to match Linda’s colours.

I rushed out of the room and walked past several other rooms of my co-tenants, savouring the different aromas of cooking as I made my way out of the house. If it was when they were nice to me, there is the assurance of a few bowls of rice – white, jollof, fried, coconut and what have you. I don’t know why they chose to not lke the bachelor in me these days. I was not the first to make passes at, or be seen doing the landlord’s daughter so I see no reason I should be ostracized.

Destiny has already separated us sef because I have been served a three month quit notice which I invalidated with a letter of undertaking, undertaking not to love her again. How that is possible with her supple bosom and rare possessions remain a mirage though.

I stayed on the balcony, reciting my lines as I waited for Linda to show up. I heard my fowl crow again. The silly creature making it all the more imperative on me to make sure it does not see the next morning.

She emerged. A full smile making her face goddess-like. “Hi Linda”, I said, as I found my best ‘chitty-chatty voice’. Stretching my hands for a shake, I added “how come we are dressed in the same my colour this beautiful day”.

“Happy New Year. I wish you the best the year has got to offer”, she responded and I smiled.

“The best? You are already the best mehn!!!”, i thought to myself while still smiling.

She took my hand and smiled. The freshness of her palm sent electric current to my heart and it was like God was already doing “A New Thing”. Halleluyah somebody!

My thoughts were interrupted by the fowl again. Does this fowl realize that it is on the death row already? Instead of calmness and soberness, it was there crowing again. I hissed and Linda laughed baring her lower teeth which had strange colour. That was a major turn-off but I didn’t mind, I couldn’t. It was a new thing too. I however appreciated the purple lipstick on her lips. Red over blue, chocolate-brown skin, purple lipstick, stained lower teeth… na that one spoil my new thing but I must make her mine.

“Linda my heart…” I began holding her hands still. I started again saying the words and fixing my gaze on her.

“Linda my heart beats fast for you,

For you, whatever you want I’ll do,

Holding you and looking in your eyes,

Make a journey, a journey to paradise,

The smile on your face, your beautiful face,

Sets again my heart on infinite race,

I wish to see you say yes, say yes now…”

 

The fowl crowed again and all my other lines evaporated immediately. I looked in its direction with annoyance. “Today na today, you’ll die now”, I said before I could even comport myself again.

“Linda I know you understand me. I love you, and I really do want you. Not for the trivial things but more on serious things. Will you please give me a chance?” From what I read on her eyes, Linda was going to react positively. I saw her look me longingly, that kind that we call “come-and-do” look.

Suudenly, I had some strange feeling in my tummy, a vibration actually. I felt it move further down from my tummy, enroute my anus. I knew what it was; I started to suppress it because I did not want Linda to go. Who starts the year with half-done business?

Finally the emission came without sound and I hoped my jean trousers would contain the attendant smell. I was wrong. The smile on Linda’s face vanished and she covered her nose with the back of her hand.

“Excuse me”, she said stepping back and moving away. “I’ll see you later”, she added. I felt low and I turned in the direction of my fowl. I remembered the knife inside.

My love for beans seemed to immediately disappear. That was one new thing, wasn’t it?