YES WE’RE DIVERSE; BUT WE CAN BE UNITED!

TWO Sundays ago, we had the Eid-el-Fitr, a very important Islamic celebration. It was also a day known the world over, as a Holy day of worship for the Christians, with the exception of Adventists. I remember that, in greeting my friends, both far and near, I mentioned that it was no mistake that it happened that way. I did not really give it all a thought again until I was on my way to church later that morning.

My musings finally pushed my fingers to work.

We’ve found different ways in this geographical entity called Nigeria, to segregate ourselves. If it’s not along religious lines, it is along tribal lines. If it’s not along tribal lines, it’s along educational lines. And if it’s not that, gender forcefully comes to the fore. There’s always one thing or the other that Nigerians will use to segregate themselves and rub the differences in each other’s faces!

Do you remember one of the great Fela’s classics “Me and you no dey for the same category”? That is a perfect example of how we live our daily lives. With our differences brought to the front burner, we’re daily living our lives in ways that are different from the original plan of the Creator, who predestined the arrangement of diversity that has brought us all together.

But one fact we have to live with is that the times are so messy that we may not have the perfect tranquility that many of us crave again. We however must not deny ourselves totally, the little we have and are blessed with.

I have watched with sadness, how many of my literate folks have dragged themselves centuries backwards, segregating themselves and their families along ethnic lines. You hear one say, “I can never marry from another tribe!” Ask them why, and he’ll begin to stammer, or give silly excuses. The most shameful part of it all is when folks of the same tribe ostracize others. Some Yorubas will tell you they cannot marry ‘Ijebus’ because they are fetish, they cannot marry Ekiti because they are too strong-willed, they cannot marry people from Ibadan because they are too cunny……..whatever that means.

I also have an Igbo friend who says he cannot marry from Anambra because they like money too much. I have met people from the north who say they will never relate with the tribe in the next village, which is a mere fifteen minutes ride on a motorcycle. I ask only one question from folks like that – “Are you marrying a group or an individual?”

Religion has become something extraordinarily volatile in this part of the world. You hear folks give the other religion derogatory names. Christians are ‘kiriyos’ while Muslims are ‘musuluwons’. The traditional religious adherent is called aborisha, translated as idol worshipper. I ask folks how significant religion is to them when they lack love for the person next door. One of my best friends is a Muslim, he is nicer than some fellow Christians. I still thank God for the day I met Seyi Owolabi at Olivet Heights, Oyo.

Some fellow Nigerians are called different names by other tribes, such as; ajokuta mamumi, translated as ‘those who eat very hard food’, nyamirin or ofe nmanu is another name from the eastern region. And all of this is in a bid to differentiate, when we really have no reason to do that.

I know there is little we can do about segregation which takes its origins from social strata. But we can at least have it at the back of our minds that the ones below us on the social status ladder also have blood flowing through their veins, and say encouraging words to them instead of putting them down. Remember nobody wanted to be born with a wooden spoon.

The most annoying is the one that has to do with gender.  How I hate it when one derogatory word is used on the female gender in Yoruba land. You hear some men address women and it makes one wonder if they’re second class citizens of the world? And as a man, walk through a female gathering and you will find yourself questioning the Maker for making you a man! Friends, these things have drawn us backward than forward.

In all our daily interactions, I think we can do ourselves a whole lot of good by seeing ourselves as ONE. Not as a Muslim, or Christian, Ijesha or Kalabari. Not along gender or social lines, but as ONE. Imagine what we can achieve as a Unit. #saveOke and #saveFunmi are just one of those.

When we’re united, we can do much more. Have a very good weekend.

LET THE SUN SHINE

In this world that we live in, lots and tons of things conspire to drive us off the path we choose. Work, events and other things that are either important or not. They conspire and try their best to derail us. Depending on the individual and prevailing situations, these phenomena succeed or fail. I have been at the receiving end of this conspiracy in the past few weeks, and that has encouraged my writing this week.

A lot has happened in the past few weeks. When I say a lot, I mean just that. Personally, officially, emotionally, locally, nationally and of course internationally. I cannot say which of the matters is currently the ‘hottest’ but I know one way or the other, the remnants still have their effects on my daily life.

Some days ago, I asked myself what I represent to people. It was in an effort aimed at seeing if I lived the actual way I want to, a way that makes me fulfilled. I get to try my best to take stock of my day before drifting off into dreamland every day, and that question came as a result of the mental exercise. I therefore thought to share this in a manner that will be beneficial to everyone.

We lead our lives in different ways, ways that add or take away something from fellow humans. The major thing that has always been on my mind is how to live the kind of life that brings sunshine to as many lives as I come in contact with. I may not be living that to the fullest just yet, but I will in every way try to be that man, that guy, that individual, who represents sunshine to people.

I daily see people- well-dressed lads, radiant looking lasses, comfortable and happy looking men and women. Truth however is that not all these people have sunshine in their lives. Their lives inside may not be as radiant and colorful as it looks on the outside. It may be due to their fault or not. That is not my concern, the thing I am after is to add sunshine to someone’s life every day.

It is a difficult thing to do I admit. I will still try my best to bring sunshine to the lives I come in contact with. This is what I also want people to do as from today. The first question you should ask yourself is what you bring to people’s lives daily. I work in a place where there are reasons to want to mix with some people and ignore others, but the truth is I always want to be on shift with some folks. This is because they add value and sunshine to my work and make it seem so simple.

I may be wrong, but watch it when folks do not want to be where you are, it is possibly because you are not adding what they need to them. You are possibly not adding enough value and sunshine to them. The words we speak, our actions and inactions, our behavior and comportment, all have this impact that we do not know which could in some instances be encouraging or devastating, as the case may be.

I therefore seek to appeal to your sensibility, that you do your ‘things’ in a way that brings sunshine to that dull place, that adds sunshine to that dark situation. You should be the reason someone is smiling, giggling and of course by extension, laughing.

Closing this week, I want to say a very happy birthday to Fisayo Adetoye. You have been my friend, brother, confidant, encourager and more than I can ever say. I am so happy to be associated with you, you bring sunshine to my life and I love you a whole lot brother. Emi gigun ati Alafia paddy mi. God bless you.

**Pictures sourced from http://www.google.com

 

THE JOURNALIST WHO MADE ME WRITE

VERY early in life, I learnt the beauty of reading widely. I read editorials and newspaper columns. I dare not speak bad English. It might be permitted elsewhere, not with myself or my then only brother. It was a rule to pass English Language very well. i remember the mantra then was not only “study to shew thyself approved to understanding”, it was also “read as extensively as you can, that way you will know what your mates and elders do not know”.

It was weird then but then I am very appreciative I had that head start, and early in life too. I had this journalist who made me read, and then encouraged me to write thereafter. He encouraged me to never be far from my dictionary, to always carry a writing pad and either a pen or pencil to write any new word I might encounter. Today, if boredom sets in, I want to write to chase it away. If I am sad, I want to write away my sadness; my whole emotion has one thing to do with writing.

That I write anything today – poems, articles, news or anything is strictly attributed to this man. I remember placing a bet that I will score an A1 in my WASSCE English some twelve years ago. You dare not score a C in English Language. I did not score an A1, but I was close, and to you I owe it all Dad. With all sense of modesty, Father made me believe in my writing, and told me I write better than some people who trained in the Arts. Thanks for that Dad, you rock big time.

Dad has been a steady pillar of support and encouragement. The one who saw in me the natural thing to be in the arts, the one whom I rebelled against before ending up as an animal scientist, the one to whom I finally retraced my steps to want to write the way he does. I can go on about this man who adds a year today. I must say of you Baami, you are a real blessing to me, and to us all.

Its another year to celebrate God’s faithfulness in the life of the man from whose loins myself and two other young men have emerged. My writing this week will therefore seek to eulogize the man whose impact on me is unparalleled. I will try but this piece will not be enough to celebrate the man I have grown to know as a father and a friend since my childhood. I know what I mean when I say that and you will get to know in the course of this piece.

I can count loyalty, truthfulness, devotion and honesty among the virtues I have learnt from Sakin Babalola. He was loyal to a fault to Daily Sketch where he worked and rose to the post of News Editor before mismanagement killed the company. When challenges came after Sketch closed down and we suggested he tried another field, Father just looked at us and sat us down and educated us about passion, loyalty and what being devoted to your passion is. He has a passion for journalism and journalism alone. He will die a journalist.

“I’ll rather die poor than fraudulently obtain anything in life”. That was my Dad talking to me during one of our now uncountable gists. For someone who has had different opportunities to perpetuate fraud or be dishonest to remain staunch, you deserve a big salute Dad. He was being wooed into occultism by some top politicians and famous people many years but father refused saying he would rather work hard as he was scared to join up and later have to pay for it with his family. That is the dedicated family man in him.

I do not know what other thing qualifies him as a family man if not for his refusal to relocate from Nigeria earlier in his life. He told us years after that he did not go because he did not want to leave us. Things like that count, and mean a lot. He cherishes his family. If he travels out of town for two hours, he is always calling to check on us. He could be very possessive and caring, and that can be annoying, it however shows the premium he has placed on his family. He still does that.

I have learnt the beauty and blessing of giving from my Dad. While he held sway as the News Editor of Sketch Press Limited, Father received lots of corporate gifts during celebrations – Sallah, Christmas, Easter and so on. He has this way of sharing the gifts in the News Room so that everyone, including interns will have a share. Some of his contemporaries called him names because of that. Some others laughed at him, calling him a ‘waster of things meant for his family’.

I remember Dad was once given a Christmas hamper and shared everything therein, coming home with the empty basket. That he still does till this day. Never afraid to get things for people, even when he himself is cash strapped. He puts the interest of others ahead of him many times. Those things he has done in the past are speaking for him, and for us as children even now.

As children, Dad always said to Yinka and myself, “the young shall grow” to which we replied, “the old shall wax stronger and stronger”, flexing those tiny muscles. Right from childhood, my father has always related with us as friends, not like the typical stone faced ‘Daddies’ of those days. I remember quite well that the only time I was beaten by my Dad while growing (till now) was when I was six years old. Of course I knew what I did was wrong. The fact that I did what made him beat me was what made me cry.

I can go on and on but I will not bore you by making this piece too long. The only favour I ask of you is to drop your comments and celebrate my Dad with me on the auspicious occasion of his birthday. The young ones have grown, and the old is waxing stronger, and STRONGER. Happy birthday to a wonderful father, friend and confidant. Happy birthday Baami, emi gigun ati Alafia o. E ma pe fun wa. I love you pieces Dad, We love you lots. Your grandchildren? Very soon pal, very soon.

TO CHECK OR NOT TO CHECK

I’m very sure I’m not the only one who undergoes self-inflicted mental tasking of the brain. This is because I have a way of evaluating issues, which gets me reflecting on a whole lot, so much so that I start having guilty feelings about being too hard on my mind and well being generally.

Down memory lane, while we were growing up, there was this thing that discouraged us from thinking too deep.  We simply concluded with statements like “it is beyond human comprehension, don’t you ever bother your head about it” and so on and so forth.   But I chose to do the opposite instead.

Just recently, I’ve had the cause to critically examine a particular trend in the past few days.  And I wish to share those thoughts that have made my head heavy.  I do hope to get responses and comments from those of you who take out time to read.

In my part of the world, people have consciously or unconsciously started acting in funny ways.  For example, in choosing marriage partners, many folks now go to their spiritual leaders to see what the future holds for them both. Doesn’t that seem a bit like divination to you? I ask because I am baffled.

Already happening presently, even across ethnic, religious and social divides; this practice which was known to be widely practiced among the hyper-religious and overtly spiritual, is now found with the so-called ‘free-thinkers  and “unbelievers” too.  I have seen people who decided to break up with their partners because their Pastor said “their stars don’t match”. They gave up love because someone heard from God for them, possibly because their ears were too filled with sin that they couldn’t hear from Him directly-whatever “matching stars” mean.

“Matching stars” as it is popularly referred to, is translated as “checking” in my local language. Now gradually assuming a more deliberate pose these days, the “checkers” are given the authority to pick and choose potential spouses. They even do the sorting and arranging, peddling different tales about one, just to favour the other, who in most cases, are their clients-all in the name of “one being better than the other ”.

Last year, it happened to a close acquaintance. He was seeing an industrious young woman before different revelations started saying she was possessed by marine spirits and stuff. The guy left her and started seeing someone else on the orders of his Pastor. The funny thing is that even the person that introduced this young man to the Pastor, later complained about the new fiancee. In his own words; “she is downright lazy, she lacks the industry of the other marine lady!”

Ridiculous if you ask me!

Did this couple have to ‘check’ before tying the knot?

Now you see, I’m not saying it’s not right to seek the face of God as we put it, I am simply saying we should not base everything on spirituality. Some people have lost the ability to seek God by themselves, and now shamelessly base everything on human beings like them, whom they see as God’s sole representatives. But they have actually forgotten that they themselves God’s representatives.

We end up forgetting that apart from being a child of God, there are other personal characteristics to look out for. There is the individuality. And who says there is a perfect person anywhere in the first place?

I believe in God, I am a Pastor myself but I do not believe you  that you should hand over your life to someone because you believe he can talk to God for you. What exactly is wrong with your own mouth that has made it impossible to talk to God yourself? I have this funny feeling that most of the men we run to, do have their own biases and may just deliver their verdicts based on those biases.

Some of us have passed love over, on the basis of “checking”; trying to see if “stars match” or if he or she is the “will of God”. I only pray some folks will not misunderstand my position or see me as being carnally-minded.

So let’s talk, what do you actually think of this controversial issue?

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