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Today, my Facebook brought me the memory of writing a tribute to one of my father figures. It made me mourn afresh for this wonderful soul, one of those who encouraged me with words and actions. It further brought memories about people, both living and ‘living’ whose words and deeds continue to reverberate and urge me on.
I have had the good fortune of having some people pick an interest in me right from my early days. They said affirming words that made me feel on top of the world, and those words had this way of spurring me on. One of these people first used the Yoruba word ‘akikanju’ for me. Trying to get what that might mean led me to different web pages and the closest English word to it that I got had something to do with bravery or something heroic.
Now I am trying to see what might have qualified me for that Yoruba word that explains bravery or heroism because I do not in any way see myself as either of the two when I was younger. Maybe I had the will to want to get things done in a particular way but the person who used the word has now gone to be with The Lord so I really cannot ask why she chose that word for me.
Till today, the words people have said about me stay in my consciousness. The husband of this Mama, also a revered person in our growing-up community regularly spoke good words to me when I was in university. Fact is the course I studied was not a popular one around us back then but he always emphasized that he believed in me and was sure I would do well in that field. He has also exited this place, but his words remain a driving force beyond the time he spoke.
It would not cost me anything to mention these names but I am trying to avoid a scenario where someone feels my inability to ‘talk’ about them means I am an ingrate. Far from it! I appreciate everyone who has been there from the start up until now but I have done a lot of reminiscing these past few days and I don’t want to be in that place today.
While I was trying to find my bearing, another father figure called me into his office and gave me a ‘talking to’ to push me. His words cut me like hot iron but in those words, I heard what he wanted me to hear which was encouraging and inspiring. He wanted me to come out of my shell, he wanted me to push harder than I was, he wanted me to do better so I could achieve all I should. He wanted me in one direction which he thought was the best but having taken his message, I went in another direction and did far more than he thought with my ‘men’, an indefatigable team.
There was the Father figure again who praised my writing skills and would drop me messages at intervals to tell me how much he believed in me. My writing for today was not planned to go in this direction but I just sit in my chair and allow whatever it is that is making me type to take me in a direction, knowing I would be able to pass my message one way or the other. So this Baba, whose passage was brought back by my Facebook memory would give me writing tasks and remunerate me beyond what I deserved. He would come on my blog posts or other stuff and put down comments that nearly made my head blow off with pride. If he was my coach, and I was his athlete, I would take on the whole world and win, because he spoke words that could make me decide to take on the world.
Late in the afternoon today, I got talking with one of my big brothers and his words were that he was confident and believed in my ability to deliver on a certain assignment, even if I was unsure of myself.
All of these votes of confidence have a way of boosting our beliefs in ourselves as individuals. I know of myself and I say all the time that affirming words get to push me to do extra. The same is the response when I get unnecessarily scathing remarks from people in my life. While it makes some people want to prove the speaker of the harsh words wrong, it sort of deflates me.
Seeing Amir Khan’s Taare Zameen Par some days ago, I saw how a talented seven-year-old was almost ruined by the words of those around him because they did not care to know that he was dyslexic. He was not their normal ‘brilliant’ student because he would not comprehend the normal class stuff like his mates and so was ridiculed by all. To make it worse, Ishan (the seven-year-old) was also troublesome. Words and actions cut him deep and the normally lively young one started becoming a shadow of himself until his new Arts teacher (Amir Khan) stepped in to save the day.
The young one who had been subjected to different forms of ridicule by teachers, classmates, and even parents gradually started understanding because his Arts teacher took the time and talked him out of being frustrated to becoming brilliant in his own right, and becoming the best Arts student in the whole school.
Recall my post some days ago about the one who called me an illiterate. Stuff like that will not only make you lose the respect of those you are addressing; it may also prevent you from achieving the desired goal.
So, as I remember these great people whose words have done me well, I admonish you to say the right words to the people you relate with. They might just exceed expectations when you express belief, or they might become a shadow of what you desire from/of them.
Have a beautiful week ahead.
OSCARPOEMS 