In my short years of living, the importance of family to my growth and development cannot be overemphasized. It is with a sense of pride that I say to anyone who cares that I come from a close-knit family. Right from the nuclear family where we all carry one another’s burdens and celebrate our wins together, to the extended side which includes both my paternal and maternal relatives, it is a unit anyone would be proud of.
In terms of relationships, what I had with my cousin Adewale Akinade is close to the filial relationship between a child and a parent. Or how does one describe the one who was there to take care of one as a toddler and continued up until adulthood? While we may have slowed down over the years, we remain very cordial.
Growing up, my Dad was mostly out of Ibadan. I remember vividly how we traveled to pay him a visit in Ilaro, a town in Ogun state. The ‘we’ here was the trio of Mom, Yinka and me. Those were days when Dad was the Correspondent in Ilaro. He was later transferred to Calabar and subsequently Lagos. All the while, we spent plenty time at the SPAC community in Sango with my paternal aunt, Pastor Comfort Adegboyega, who is also more of a grandmother than an aunt. Mom would drop us there and head to her office while we would be taken to school and return there till she came to pick us up and we go back home at Ijokodo, all in Ibadan.
Sango was a community for us and there we forged alliances that remain valid today, these relationships are not biological but we remain constants in one another’s lives.
I continue to respect my parents for the lives of sacrifice they have both lived till now. We attended schools anyone would be proud of and they made it look as if it was comfortable for them when they were only striving and doing their best.
My paternal cousins who are numerous to mention are the best anyone can wish for. We shared a close bond when we were growing up and some of us remain very good, going to different extremes to see ourselves rise and make meaning out of life.
We had Pastor Adewole Babalola, who we called Big Daddy. It is such a shame that we did not take a picture together. Baba would have been 87 on July 25th. Any family with that kind of Big Daddy is very blessed. This I write without any bit of contradiction. He was quite a good example of many things. He took life very easily and was a role model for me. Some of the things I do and how I carry myself are down to the things I learnt from his lifestyle. Big Daddy was the pillar on which I rested in uni.
He once called me into his office and shared with me how my Dad sacrificed his early education so that he (Big Daddy) could stay in school. According to him, that was why he would go to any length to ensure my Dad and his children got the best education possible. He ensured that he stayed true to this promise. It is quite unfortunate that I was unable to reciprocate before he passed. It pains me to the bones but The Almighty who owns us all chose to take him, and we knew it was best he departed this planet when he did.
Along with Big Daddy, my cousins in Port Harcourt (Bros Sege, Kayode and Busayo) and the others in the clan who I cannot mention have played tremendous roles over the years.
No one has a paternal side without having a maternal side. Mom, being the only daughter of her family was surrounded by ‘men’, two of whom I spent the last weekend with. Her elder brother with whom I was not so close because he was the one who Mom came to live with in Ibadan and was far older.
However, the duo of Uncles Segun and Sanmi, both Pastors now also took care of me and my brothers when growing up. Uncle Segun was more officious while we liked Uncle Sanmi more because we could relate with him more. However, my first driving experience was with Uncle Segun while waiting for my admission into Junior Secondary School. All that is in the past now though as we relate very easily. Hoping we can do better with their children, who are my maternal cousins because we are not as close as we are with those on my father’s side.
Interestingly though, I maintain a very great relationship with Abiodun Adekanmi, my cousin who got married last weekend. He is the son of my mom’s elder brother. His siblings are equally cordial and his other sibs spent some time with us little children too. They lived in Molete in those days.
The two best siblings anyone can have are Yinka, my first friend and Nifemi who came when I had left home for Olivet Heights Oyo. I hold amazing memories with Yinka who was my playmate along with Tomi. As a team, we did well and have weathered storms together.
Nifemi, who was very much younger became my ‘work’ when I returned to Ibadan. As I finished secondary school and he was still in Subuola Memorial Nursery and Primary School, I was assigned to take him to school. I guess that was where we really bonded. As a toddler, I took him into the dining hall whenever my parents came visiting in Olivet Heights. He was the other sibling I had really desired and when he came, I loved him through and through. I still love him these days and he is making me feel the exact same way.
That I started this 28-day writing challenge is down to his support, which are mental, financial, material and even beyond the ones I have typed. I am typing and writing regularly because of Nifemi, and I am grateful to the Almighty that I have seen him grow into such a fine and calm gentleman, who is ‘useful’ and understands what is expected of him.
Some other people have become family. These ones earned the tag family because of their actions, not because they are blood. We have grown in leaps and bounds, becoming family and staying constant. I only hope and pray life will not rob me of these ones.
OSCARPOEMS 